I am small, listless and fearful.
I lay panting, gasping, and flailing.
beating the stillness out of myself.
hardening myself for a revolution nobody believes in.
how long will I comfort myself in Your absence?
When will You restore my warrior-soul?
I am screaming for orders.
I am screaming in fear.
crying over my spirit’s tomb.
how many tears until You notice?
how many seizures until Your embrace?
I beg my goat-hearted prayer for integration.
“am I really all the things that are outside of me?”
“am I really all the things that are outside of me?”
“am I really all the things that are outside of me?”
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